Hixnu: An unlikely Muse.

I love this picture. I had so much fun drawing it today. It was almost like old times. God I miss the old times. What I wouldn't do to just be able to be care free when I draw. To just not give a fuck and just do whats in my head. What is the secret to getting what's in your head down onto paper? Why is it so damn hard?

I realize that most of the limitations are self imposed. But the very fact that they are just makes it so much harder to get rid of them! I know I have the capability to apply myself and work... but shit every time I try there's this endlessly berating voice inside of me that eventually wears me down. Sometimes I defeat it and finish the picture and feel good about myself. But that is only one temporary victory and the enemy soon returns unscathed. Fuck.

How do I break this sort of cycle? How do I escape something like this? Because right now everyday is seeming like an uphill battle.

Anyway, this was a request from Natalie I did today. She's my muse, as usual. I draw her characters far more than I draw mine. I feel like it would be more healthy to have more connection with my own characters, perhaps it wouldn't hurt to focus on them for awhile.

Mrrr, I do love this picture, though.